Word Puking, or How to Say Nothing While Wasting Time and Losing Customers

I’m a little irritated, as you’ll see as you read this post. Why? Because I’ve come across another example of worthless writing that makes all of us who care look bad.

As the amount of information inundating us daily continues to increase and our ability to pay attention to it continues to decrease, it becomes ever more important to communicate well…if we want to communicate at all.

This is especially true when writing at work as well as writing for sales.

Yet I continue to see countless examples of what I call word puking. What is word puking, you ask? Writing with lots of words but zero intention of actually communicating with the reader.

Here’s an example of word puking from a restaurant website:

Discover culinary perfection at Guy Savoy in Las Vegas, a top-ranked restaurant celebrated for its artful blend of French gastronomy and contemporary flair. With Chef Guy Savoy’s innovative creations and an ambiance of refined luxury, this culinary destination promises an unforgettable dining experience at the pinnacle of gourmet indulgence.

Now, if I wanted to teach you how to say nothing, I would use this blurb as an example. Because speaking of pinnacles, this is the pinnacle of word puking.

Does it sound good? Sure! I’m sure when the copywriter put that in front of the marketing team, the team glowed with pleasure! “Look at all those fancy words,” they swooned.

But is this really marketing? Hardly!

Does it tell us anything about the food at this restaurant? Nope.

Honestly, I have no idea what you get when you combine French gastronomy with contemporary flair, especially when you consider that the definition of gastronomy is simply “the practice or art of choosing, cooking, and eating good food.” So how is that not contemporary?

And what is contemporary flair anyway?

It’s innovative? Okaaaaayyy… meaning what?

It’s the pinnacle of gourmet indulgence? What does that even mean?

I could go on, but it’s already obvious to you how annoyed I am by this baloney, I’m sure. (Insert facepalm emoji here.)

This bunch of words is just taking up space. It’s not communicating at all.

And that’s just wrong.

As Benjamin Franklin said, “Either writer something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

This is not worth reading. It is simply a classic example of word puking.

Word puking from a marketer’s perspective

From a marketing and copywriting standpoint, if we’re word puking and thinking it’s going to get our prospect’s attention, our prospects will likely have an attitude like A Great Big World’s song Say Something, I’m Giving up on You. And what’s that? They’ll give up on us and they’ll click away in search of a business that tries.

Word puking when writing at work

From a workplace writing standpoint, if we’re word puking, we are wasting our reader’s time and possibly slowing down a project, costing more money, causing confusion, or preventing collaboration.

How not to word puke

And now perhaps you’re saying, “Okay, Sharon. So how do I avoid word puking?”

I’m glad you asked! And obviously you care, or you wouldn’t be reading this.

In fact, I bet you’d never word puke. Just the fact that you’re here right now tells me this.

But…and it’s a big but…that doesn’t mean we can’t all use a reminder to write with care, whether for work or for sales.

And the easiest way to avoid saying nothing is to be clear what you want to communicate!

Then, read what you wrote before you send it out into the world.

That’s it. Just those two steps will save you from looking stupid, and will ensure you’re actually communicating with your words.

For more advice on making sure you write like you care, see these 17 tips for putting the reader first, or this one copywriting tip if you’re in a hurry.

Now, let’s get out there and make sure our colleagues aren’t word puking either!

Photo by Clarissa Schwarz: https://www.pexels.com/photo/broken-watch-on-a-moss-covered-ground-12501261/